Mistakes we make while speaking English part-27

English Errors: 'I am having a lovely family.'
Contributions from Nikhlesh Mathur, Venkat Ramani, Ramamurthy Sridhar

In India, we have over a dozen official languages and countless local dialects. So how does a farmer from Bihar speak with a fisherman from Kerala ? The answer, for now, is 'not easily'.

One day, however, all Indians will use English as a first, second or third language. This will allow them to communicate effectively not only with other Indians, but also the rest of the world.

Of course, getting to that point won't be easy. For most of us, English is still a challenge. With all its irregularities, exceptions and rules, English is a very difficult language to master.

With that in mind, Rediff presents our English Bloopers series. Here, we publish written and spoken mistakes spotted and sent to us by observant Get Ahead readers. It's a great way to review the basics, clarify a few issues and share a laugh or two!

So, stop by each Monday, Wednesday and Friday for another fresh batch of English Bloopers.


Nikhlesh Mathur notices a few mistakes that arise from our fluency in Hindi:

Most North Indians are definitely better in the Hindi language than we are in the English language. Problems arise when we speak English words with a Hindi accent. Look at the the word 'genuine'.

The tendency to pronounce this word as 'genine' is incorrect. The twist of the tongue at the right moment is neccesary to pronounce 'u' in the word 'genuine'.

When the word 'cost' is written in the Hindi language, a half moon curve is correctly marked over the the Hindi letter 'Ka'. Therefour, most of us pronounce 'cost' as 'cast' while speaking. Both 'cost' and 'cast' are English words but have entirely different meanings.


Venkat Ramani sent these errors. He says, 'If you find any gaffes in my corrections, blame it on my English teacher!'

Wrong: He is calling to you

The 'to' is not needed in this statment. You could either remove the 'to' or replace it with 'for'.

Correct: He is calling you.

Wrong: Say me the truth!

This is especially prevalent in Andhra Pradesh. It should be 'tell'.

Correct: Tell me the truth

Wrong: The real fact is that you are not married.

This is redundant, because a fact is true or provable. Therefore, all facts are real.

Correct: The fact is that you are not married.

Wrong: Govnerment
Wrong: Agnaist
Wrong: Envornament.

These are common mistakes that can be heard in call centres in Hyderabad. The employees have trouble pronouncing words such as, 'Government', 'Against' and 'Environment'.

Correct: Government
Correct: Against
Correct: Environment

Wrong: Fathers name
Wrong: Martial status

I often come across these common mistakes in resumes or cover letters. 'Fathers name' implies more than one father while 'Martial status' implies military rule.

Correct: Father's name
Correct: Marital status

Ramamurthy Sridhar, from Hyderabad, sent these three bloopers.

Wrong: I am having a lovely family.

This type of error is easy to hear in India. We use the present continuous tense in place of the present simple tense.

Correct: I have a lovely family.


Wrong: This vehicle is dead cheap.

When a product is very cheap, a lot of us say it is 'dead cheap'. Actually, the phrase is 'dirt cheap'.

Correct: This vehicle is dirt cheap.


Wrong: It will be a very cut and right report.

The proper phrase is 'cut and dry' or 'cut and dried'. It means that something is settled or routine.

Correct: It will be a very cut and dried report.

Mistakes we make while speaking English part-26

English Errors: 'This calamity is very nice!'
In India, we have over a dozen official languages and countless local dialects. So how does a farmer from Bihar speak with a fisherman from Kerala ? The answer, for now, is 'not easily'.

One day, however, all Indians will use English as a first, second or third language. This will allow them to communicate effectively not only with other Indians, but also the rest of the world.

Of course, getting to that point won't be easy. For most of us, English is still a challenge. With all its irregularities, exceptions and rules, English is a very difficult language to master.

With that in mind, rediff.com presents our English Bloopers series. Here, we publish written and spoken mistakes spotted and sent to us by observant Get Ahead readers. It's a great way to review the basics, clarify a few issues and share a laugh or two!

So, stop by each Monday, Wednesday and Friday for another fresh batch of English Bloopers.


Dr. S. Krishnan, a 50 year old scientist from Chennai, sent the following list of bloopers. They were all collected from a single conversation Dr. Krishnan overheard at office.

Wrong: If you can do, do. If you cannot, admit yourself

Correct: If you can do it, do it. If you cannot do it, admit it to yourself.

Wrong: What O'clock you are coming for dinner?

Correct: What time are you coming for dinner?

Wrong: Take this letter and post yourself.

Correct: Please take this letter and post it yourself.

Wrong: Can you capable work this Sunday?

Correct: Are you able to work this Sunday?

Wrong: Both the three of you to do field duty.

Correct: All three of you, go do field duty.

Wrong: Mind me to get some flowers this evening.

Correct: Please remind me to get some flowers this evening.

Wrong: Udupi Hotel fooding is not good.

Correct: The food at Udupi Hotel is not good.

Meet Sachi Chander, a senior undergraduate at IIT Madras and self-proclaimed fanatic of the English language. He shares the following anecdotes.

After writing an English exam, a friend of mine came up to me and the following conversation ensued:

Friend: Hey, I wanted to confirm one of my answers. Can you help
Myself: Sure, which one was it?
Friend: Well, we were supposed to add a suitable preposition in the blank. The question was, 'Bear ____ me for a while.'

Naturally, the answer was 'Bear with me for a while.' This means that the speaker requests the person to be patient for a while.

Correct : My friend, however, changed the meaning completely with his answer:
'Bear chased me for a while.'

Of course, this indicated that a bear had actually come and attacked him for a while. This absurd answer left me rolling on the floor with laughter.

Another funny incident happened to my friend who was walking in a park with her cousin.

Friend: Wow, what a peaceful atmosphere! It's so calm.
Cousin: Yes, this calamity is very nice!

Correct : Calamity refers to a disaster or a tragedy. My friend's cousin mistakenly connected calamity with calm -- a true calamity indeed!


Yoganandhan Raja, working in Marketing Research in Mumbai, sent us a few memorable bloopers committed by his sixth standard teacher in Chennai:


Wrong: You three both of you sit together separately.

Never use the word 'both' when referring to more than two people.

Correct: I want the three of you to separate and sit apart from one another.

Wrong: I will recommend the suggestion that you must buy it -- it's a worthable one.

The beginning is very confusing and has too many words. And 'worthable' isn't even a word.

Correct: I recommend that you buy it; it's a worthwhile purchase.

Wrong: Off all the on fans and lights.

In English, we say 'turn off' or 'switch off' the fans. 'On' and 'off' are adverbs, and thus, must be connected to other verbs.

Correct: Please turn off the fans and lights.


Krishnaswamy Murali heard the following story circling around the office:

Once, my colleague wanted to inform our Director that his mother was seriously ill and that he needed a few days of leave. His application read as follows:

Wrong: My mother is very dangerous and I want to saw her. Please leave me three days.

The mother is not dangerous! She's very ill. Also, he doesn't want to saw her, which sounds gruesome.

Instead he wants to 'see her', or better yet, 'be by her side'. Finally, he is requesting leave; he doesn't want the boss to actually leave him for three days.

Correct: My mother is seriously ill and I would like to be by her side. Therefore, I request you grant me leave for three days.

Mistakes we make while speaking English part-25

English Bloopers: 'She came in at 12:00 pm'
Have your friends and colleagues been giving you a hard time about your English speaking skills? Don't get upset; instead, pick up a book and start reading!

Just so you know that you're not alone, here are more English Bloopers. As always, they've been compiled and sent in by our readers.

Simran Singh, 39 and in banking, sent a list of errors that she has seen at work:

Wrong: 'I am withdrawling Rs 400'

Simran says that many misspell this word in written requests. She has no idea why. It's 'withdrawing'.

Correct: 'I am withdrawing Rs 400'

Wrong: 'I bought the property threw my mother'

'Threw' is the past tense of 'throw'. 'Through' is the proper word.

Correct: 'I bought the property through my mother'


Wrong: 'I am do Rs 4000 as late payment'

This is another common misspelling. 'Do' is a verb. It should be 'due'.

Correct: 'I am due Rs 4000 as late payment'


And finally, here's a request she received from a customer.

Wrong : 'To who it may concern, I did not knew that my bill was over. Likewise, I cannot been expected to pay.'

The entire note is riddled with errors! It should be:

Correct : 'To whom it may concern, I did not know that my bill was due. Therefore, I cannot be expected to have paid.'

AS Sureshchandar says these time mistakes keep popping up wherever he goes!

Wrong:
He arrived yesterday night.
She came in at 12.00 P.M.
We will be leaving the day after day after tomorrow.

Correct: He arrived last night.
She came in at Noon. (Noon and Midnight are separate from other times)
We will be leaving in a couple of days

Chidambaram Jagadeesan has read and heard the following common mistake

Wrong: Suppose if I come, we can go the temple

'Suppose' and 'if' will not come together because both convey the same meaning.

Correct: Suppose I come, we can go the temple.


Dr.V.K.Kanniappan M.S, D.O, 62 years, Professor of Ophthalmolgy, sent this story that demonstrates several common errors:

Wrong: Yesterday afternoon after coming from school Mala developed red rashes all over the body.

Correct: Mala developed red rashes all over the body after returning from school yesterday.

Wrong: First we suspected it may be chicken pox.

Correct: Initially we suspected that it may be due to chicken pox.

Wrong: What the reason is for food allergy?

Correct: What is the reason for food allergy?

Wrong: How many days it will take?

Correct: How long will it last?

Mistakes we make while speaking English part-24

Desi English at office, a comedy of errors.
Have you seen what passes through Human Resources departments across the country? English errors of such magnitude that, as a worker, you don't know whether to laugh or cry.That's the situation that faces Anand S., an HR worker for a multi-national in Bangalore.

Instead of frustration, Anand deals with these mistakes by documenting them. Here's his list of the funniest gaffes:

Wrong: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one week leave.

Correct: My wife and I have to go to our village to sell our land. Please sanction me one week of leave.

Wrong: My cremation ceremony is at 10:00 am, please grant me half-day leave.

Correct: I'm attending a cremation ceremony at 10:00 am; please grant me half-day of leave.

Wrong: As I am working in this office I suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today only.

Correct: I am suffering from a headache. I request leave for today.

Wrong: I only am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.

Correct: I am suffering from fever. Please grant me leave for today.

Wrong: As my headache is paining, please give my leave today.

Correct: As I have a painful headache, please grant me leave today.

Wrong: I am enclosed herewith...

Correct: I have enclosed herewith...

Wrong: Dear Sir, with reference to the above, please refer to my below reference.

Correct: Dear sir, in reference to the above, please see my observation below.

Wrong: As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me ten days leave.

Correct: My mother-in-law has expired and I am required to make arrangements for mourning. I request ten days of leave.

Wrong: My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave

Correct: My wife is ill and no one is home to assist her. May I be granted a short leave?

Wrong: I am in well here, thank you, and hope you are also in the same well.

Correct: I am well, thank you. I hope you are the same.

Wrong: As I am marrying my daughter, please grant weak leave.

Correct: My daughter is to be married. I request one week's leave.

Wrong: I want to shave my son head, kindly please leave me for two days.

Correct: As we are to celebrate my son's mundan, I request leave for two days.

Wrong: This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'. As I am both and have been for the past several years I am applying for the post.

Correct: In reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant', I would like to submit my application. I have served as both a typist and an accountant in the past.

Mistakes we make while speaking English part-23

Ten avoidable English errors.
It is not only fresh graduates and non-English speakers who make grammatical mistakes. In fact, professionals in offices, including journalists, commit certain errors over and over again.

'Anyways', 'prepone' and 'cope up', all come to mind.

The problem is that many bloopers become accepted socially and feature in our day-to-day interactions. Every time someone copies an error without consulting a dictionary, the problem gets worse.

TVS Thiagarajan, 45, sent these five gaffes:


Wrong: He is a simpleton

People use this expression without knowing its meaning. 'Simpleton' does not mean 'simple'; it means 'idiot'.

Correct: He is a simple man.

Wrong: Each individual data tells a different story.

Data is the plural form for datum, a singular noun. Words ending with 'um' usually have an 'a' in the plural form: (stratum/strata)

Correct: Each individual datum tells a different story.

Wrong: He is one of those who performs well

Even authors make this mistake. They see 'he' and immediately use the singular form. But, because 'he' is part of a group, you use the plural verb.

Correct: He is one of those who perform well

Wrong: I came an hour back.

When we indicate the past, instead of 'back', we must use 'ago'.

Correct: I came an hour ago.

Wrong: She has went to the store.

Many people do not know the conjugation of English verbs. With the verb 'to go', the conjugation is: 'go, went, gone'. You say 'go' in the present, 'went' in the past, and 'gone' in the past participle. Past participle is used only with auxiliary verbs like 'have' or 'has'.

Correct: She has gone to the store.

Jayakumar Pillai sent an additional five bloopers, including one you've got to read to believe!


Wrong: Peoples and childrens do not listen

People and children are plural by themselves. Do not add an 's' to either of these words.

Correct: People and children do not listen.


Wrong: Even after a laps of three months, I was still granted a visa.

The word here is 'lapse', to denote passage of time. 'Lap' means either the flat area between one's stomach and knees (the child slept on my lap) or the circuit of a track/race course (the event had total 12 laps, but he got out in the second lap itself).

Correct: Even after a lapse of three months, I was still granted a visa.


Wrong: Please speak politically

Wrong: The branch manager is out of order.

The customer service agent made both of these blunders in one call. She obviously meant:

Correct: Please speak politely.

Correct: The branch manager is out of office.

Wrong: He have no sense

'He' is singular, so the verb is singular as well, 'has'.

Correct: He has no sense.


Last but not the least, a letter forwarding a demand draft concludes: 'We shall appreciate if you will acknowledge safe receipt of this communication and settlement accordingly in due course.'

I don't even know where to begin. What I do know is that brevity is important.

Mistakes we make while speaking English part-22

English Bloopers: 'Why you do me like this?'

English errors are everywhere -- hoardings, magazines and politicians' speeches.

So, with this abundance of bloopers, what's the big deal if you make a few gaffes?

Well, speaking and writing proper English is one way to make you stand above the crowd. Let's say you're applying for a job

-- wouldn't you want your interview and resume free of mistakes?

On that note, let's begin another series of English Bloopers provided by online users.

Kashmira Patel, a 32 year old Software Engineer from California, sent these bloopers she's heard from co-workers.

Wrong: I was bought up in Hyderabad.

Kashmira has heard this so often, she now quickly rejoins, 'And how much did your parents pay?'

Correct: I was brought up in Hyderabad.

Wrong: What I did for you?

Wrong: Why you do me like this?

These are little nuances of the languages that you must learn through practices. Say:

Correct: What have I done to you?
Correct: Why are you treating me like this?

Dr. Sriram Harish Srinivasan, a 29 year old doctor in the UK, has heard this head-scratcher from time to time:

Wrong: My happy birthday is on January 27.

While you sing, 'Happy birthday!' to people, the actual day is just your birthday.

Correct: My birthday is on January 27.


SS Thukral, a 45 year old HR professional from New Delhi, sent a handful of mistakes:

Wrong: Inflation has gone up in the last four month.

Months is the plural form of month. Since there are four, you must say:

Correct: Inflation has gone up in the last four months.

Wrong: Five players has been short listed to play for India.

Shortlisted is one word, not two. It should be:

Correct: Five players have been shortlisted to play for India.


Wrong: I have seen it happening many a times.

Since you say 'a' before 'times', it should be single and not plural.

Correct: I have seen it happen many a time.

Mistakes we make while speaking English part-21

Bloopers: 'She thought me English'
You might not know it, but proper English immediately makes a positive impression on those around you.

On the other hand, errors leave you looking silly, though you may be very intelligent.

The only solution is to never stop learning, even if you're already an English expert. Today, we look at bloopers from both top executives and beginner English students, which shows us everyone makes the occasional slip-up. Let's get started.

Ram Ramesh, from Gurgaon, heard this from an office colleague:

Wrong: 'One of my husband's friend has gone to Malaysia.'

Wrong: 'One of my husband's friend has come visiting us from Bangalore.'

By saying 'One of', it implies the husband has a group of friends. Therefore, the correct form should be:

Correct: 'One of my husband's friends has gone to Malaysia.' OR

Correct: 'A friend of my husband has gone to Malaysia.'

Correct: 'One of my husband's friends is visiting us from Bangalore.' OR

Correct: 'A friend of my husband is visiting us from Bangalore.'

Rupal Srivastava, a 30 year old English teacher in Lucknow, sent these errors she frequently encounters at office:

Wrong :"I asked to my sister."

After 'ask' there should never be a preposition. The correct sentence is:

Correct: "I asked my sister."


Wrong: 'If I will go to my native place, I will call you.'

'If' and 'will' can never be placed together in a statement; they must be separated into two different phrases. They are conditional. So the sentence, although in the future tense, should be made into present indefinite tense. It should be like this:

Correct: 'If I go to my native place, I will call you.'

Shwetha Putcha, 25 and from Hyderabad, has seen and heard the following mistakes:

Wrong: She thought me English

The error comes because of the similarity between the two verbs. The past tense of the verb 'to teach' is 'taught'. Therefore, it should be:

Correct: She taught me English

Wrong: Would you mind posting this letter for me? Yes, certainly.

The question asks if you mind doing a favour. By replying, 'yes', you indicate that it is a problem or a hassle. Instead, since it's not a problem, reply in the negative.

Correct: Would you mind mailing this letter for me? No, not at all.

Wrong: My house is besides her house.

Wrong: Beside me, will anyone else be there?

Beside means 'close to' or 'by the side of.' Besides means 'in addition to.' These two are frequently misused, as in this case. Instead, it should be:

Correct: My house is beside her house.
Correct: Besides me, will anyone else be there?